Posts tagged Mindfulness
Setting Badass Intentions
Rad Maverix

 

I’ve been fighting with my heart lately and I can’t help but feel like it’s all a part of this self-proclaimed soul searching journey. Or at least telling myself that makes me feel a little bit less insane. The last few months I have been going in and out of these dazes and it seems as though as the time goes by that these feelings and urges keep getting stronger and stronger.

It all started last year when I was eating dinner at Olive Garden with my family. I glanced up, saw my (older) sister drinking a lemon martini and, for some reason, I felt the need to ask her how old she was. But why? In my head I knew exactly how old she was but it felt like I had stepped out of my body and was looking at the scene from the outside in. She promptly and obviously, a bit surprised, asks me, “Ugh, WHY?!!!”… Urging for some kind of comforting answer, I asked her again. Then I cried. That’s how it happened, folks. I had a quarter-life crisis right there at the damn Olive Garden. At least I had pasta + wine to cry over and give me comfort.

Want to know what spurred the cry-fest? Honestly, I think my heart was feeling conflicted. I have several personalities (emphasis on the "several") and at that exact moment I felt like I had failed miserably on exploring all of my personalities throughout my life by only living the ones that have been the main "stars" of my lifetime. The bubbly personality, the kind personality, the loyal personality, the compassionate personality, the HBIC personality, the stubborn and steadfast personality. All good traits but what about the others..the ones that don't shine so bright? Does that make sense? Like a fine wine, with age we get better...and sweeter, right? As we evolve, we learn to explore ourselves on a deeper + more terrifying level. We learn new activities / hobbies and acquire new interests, we go through our very own evolution's.

 

Here's what I'm saying:

  • I love a good designer purse but I also love power tools and making something out of nothing.

  • I love and adore décor but I’m a huge fan of blank space.

  • I love keeping a cushion in my savings account but I also live for the phrase YOLO.

  • I love stability but I crave spontaneity.

  • I love being outdoors and getting my hands dirty but I also love upscale restaurants and dressing up.

  • I love knickknacks but I love the art of minimalism.

  • I love steadiness but desire freedom.

  • I love owning my very own business but some days I prefer to not be bothered by any responsibilities. #YOGAPANTSARELIFE


Rad Girl's Guide to SetTING Badass Intentions

But how does one go about having it all? Living the wild + free but stable life? First, I believe it all starts with the right intentions and letting go of the need for societal validation. I know a lot of people (myself included) who have missed out on so many adventures and opportunities because they were too afraid of what others would think about them or the decisions made. Ditching the need for approval doesn't happen overnight. It's something that grows and gets better the more we feel self-assured + confident with ourselves and our decisions. 

So what's an intention, anyways? An intention is a guiding principle for how you want to be, live, and show up in the world. What matters most to you? Your answer to this can craft a powerful intention that will help you align your actions as you go about your day.

 

How to set badass intentions:

  1. Make sure your intentions can evolve. If you stick with the same intention week after week your mind will get bored. Think about that brand new perfume you bought. It smells fabulous for the first week or 2 but after that the scent is not as stout / fragrant.

  2. Keep that shit positive. Think about what you want not what you don't want. Example: do say, "My intention is to invite peace and calmness within myself." don't say, My intention is to not be a hot freakin' mess."

  3. Create goals with soul with sub-intentions. This year, one of my main goals is to hike more and complain less. So my sub-intention could be: "My intention for this week is to hike Turkey Mountain three times and practice gratitude twice a day." My intention has room to grow and evolve throughout the year while still fulfilling my main goal.

  4. Let the universe have your back. Setting goals with soul and powerful intentions set the infinite organizing power of the Universe in motion. Don't listen to that pesky inner mean girl that says you have to be in charge and that your obsessive control is the only way to get anything done. The outcome that you're trying so hard to force may not be as good as the one that comes organically. Release your intentions with purity and then let them flourish when the season is right for you.

Example Intentions:

  • My intention is to feel great in my own skin.

  • My intention is to implement a realistic, healthful lifestyle that helps me attain my weight goals.

  • My intention is to radiate good vibes for myself and others.

  • My intention is to live a balanced life.

  • My intention is to learn to skills and activities to prosper in my career.

  • My intention is to feel love and give love.

  • My intention is to empower and be empowered.

  • My intention is to feel comfortable with money and my spending habits.

  • My intention is to create work that is soul-satisfying.

  • My intention is to feel secure.

 

Still need help? Think about these questions to spark a heart-felt intention:

  • What are you grateful for?

  • What matters most to YOU?

  • What word(s) would you like to align yourself with? (brave, courage, kind, passion, etc)

  • What would you like to build, create, or nurture in your life? A business? A family? Your career?

  • What would you like to let go of?

  • Who would you like to forgive in your life? Maybe it's yourself.

  • How do you feel when you are your happiest self?

  • What makes you proud to be YOU?

  • What fears would you like to release? (divorce, past investments ["debt"], insecurities, loneliness)

 

Go ahead! Create a badass intention now! You deserve it.

 

By the way, I find this quote to be comforting, I hope you do too:

“There is no statute of limitations on starting over. Re-invent yourself every day. Be the girl who walks barefoot and listens to the blues. Tomorrow, wear a trench coat and speak fierce truths. Be a phoenix. Be ashes. Burn down. Resurrect. Let go of the idea that you must always be who you have always been.”

 


2017 Goals with soul


Give back to this beautiful Earth

Beef up my savings

Positively impact a life or two

Hike more

be gracious

Own less, live more

More spontaneity + less control

 

What are your intentions for 2017? How is this year going to be better than 2016?

 

xx

 

Riss

We're Here to Thrive not Just Survive

A few weeks ago I was driving down Hwy 2 to the small town of Vinita, Oklahoma. Jake and I were carrying on as usual, probably singing along to Jason Aldean or discussing our plans for the weekend. We were coming over a big hill when I noticed a silage truck pulling up to a stop sign on a county road. I assumed he was going to go ahead and cross the road because he had plenty of time to get across the highway before I made it to him. Instead, he remained at the stop sign until we're about 150 feet away from the county road and then pulls out in front of my SUV, while driving 70 mph. I had about .0125 seconds to decide whether or not I was going to slam on the brakes and hope that we can stop quick enough or try to swerve around him without rolling the vehicle. By the grace of God I was able to swerve around him while his truck stalled right in the middle of the one-lane highway as he shifted to pick up speed.

I’m honestly not sure how I’m even able to write this post. Jake and I sat in silence for the following 20 minutes trying to comprehend what just happened and how we’re still alive. Our lives literally flashed in front of our eyes.

It’s all pretty much a blur after the swerve besides that I couldn’t feel my legs to drive for the next 3-5 miles; having to use my cruise controls to speed up or slow down.

I can’t completely explain the feelings and emotions but it has never been more clear to me that my work here on Earth is not done. I am not a super religious person (gasp) but at that moment it felt like God was calling us to go home but then at the very last second he thought, “Nope, they still have work to do.”

Talk about an awakening—like seriously, I don’t need a much bigger sign than that.

This incident definitely confirmed something for me. First, it confirmed once again, that life is too short. It also helped me confirm that I am going down the right path; I’m finally fulfilling my life’s purpose.

You see, I’ve been coaching badass women for a while now and I finally feel like I’m living my passion. The high I get from helping my clients better their life or up-level their business is something that can’t be purchased on the shelf at Target. 

I have hardly done any advertising of my coaching services because I wanted to take it slow and make sure it was something that I was totally in love with before putting it out in the Universe. I literally only put my coaching services on my website and told myself if it’s meant to be then it will catch the attention of those who need my help.

So, here it is, this is my “coming out” letter

I am a Lifestyle / Confidence + Business Coach & Soul Junkie. I dig the shit out of helping women take their lives to the next level. I love getting to share with others the importance of self-love, mindfulness + maintaining a balanced life full of love, confidence and badassery. 

This is your sign. Just do it already. Whatever has been lingering in that beautiful mind of yours, just DO IT.

Now that the world has been lifted off of my shoulders, I'm going to have a kickass weekend full of fulfilling wholesale orders + creating content that leaves women ready to conquer the world. 

xx

Merrissa

Why You Haven't Jumped On The Mindfulness Train Yet
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Think you don't have time for mindfulness? Or your mind is too busy and scattered to focus? Join the party, there's plenty of room for everyone. 

When I talk to my friends + family about incorporating mindfulness into my daily life they look at me like I'm crazy.

"But, Merrissa, how do you have time?"
"My brain is way too busy to even consider the act of mindfulness!"
And my personal favorite, "I've got 10,000 things on my to-do list. Adding one more task is the last thing I need to do." (Me too, home girl, me too!)

 

Actually sister, it sounds like you're in dire need of some soul searching + valuable (read: mindfulness) time to yourself.

But I get it. And to be honest with you, I thought "meditation" and "mindfulness" was a bunch of hokey pokey bullshit before I tried it. It is so easy for me to hustle through the entire day and forget to be mindful at times. To be honest, my mind is busting at the seams with worn out dreams and what I imagine heaven will look like. (Think 1000s of puppies and everflowing champagne) Or I'll be hustling through my morning routine, go to step out of the shower and not be able to remember if I've washed my hair or not. I can't be the only one, right? Forgetting to respond to emails and losing my key fob used to be a daily ritual for me! 

So what the heck is ‘mindfulness’?

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Mindfulness is the process of deliberately bringing your attention to whatever you are doing right now, the here and NOW—not five minutes ago and not 5 years from now. You can either continue to read this blog post mindfully or with a mind not fully focused. 👯 

So why can’t you jump on the mindful train?

4 reasons why you can't get on the mindfulness train + how to get on board once and for all

01 You don’t really understand it. This was one of my biggest speed bumps! Here’s the deal, being mindful is not about being perfect. It’s not about being perfectly present and focused every single minute of the day. It’s not about moving through the day to day grind like a toked out hippie. Mindfulness is simply choosing to focus one’s attention on the present moment. It’s about controlling your thoughts and noticing when your mind has wandered. (More control, sign me up! 🤣) But in today’s world, it’s no wonder our minds run when we’re constantly being pulled in 10,000 different directions.

 

Did my husband pay the mortgage?

Did I turn the water hose off last night?

The babysitter is going on vacation next week, who is going to watch the kids?

Did I email that client back? 

 

As a matter of fact, while you’re reading this, you’ve probably already thought about several other areas in your life that need attention. That’s where mindfulness comes into play. Try to notice when your mind is wandering and make a choice to bring it back to what is actually happening right in front of you.

02 You’re not a curious cat anymore. I think this can be the hardest part of being mindful. You see, the brain is a magnificent organ and because sometimes the present moment might suck, we’ve programmed our brains to pay attention to something less sucky or boring. Like that chocolate shake you thoroughly enjoyed yesterday or that YouTube video you’ve been dying to watch. It’s easy to pay attention to a beautiful Oklahoma sunset, puppies playing in the yard or a wild bald eagle swooping through the sky.

Unfortunately, most of the day to day details of life are far less enjoyable. The news is super depressing, the Starbucks line is backed up an entire city block, your boss is being a jerk and once again, your dishwasher didn’t unload itself. But a hat if we decided to notice what’s happening and get curious about it? Here’s what happens, you start remembering that you did in fact wash your hair; you learn that your boss is going through a divorce and in return you feel a bit more empathy for him. You remember that you had meetings all day and errands to run all evening so you give yourself a little break and stop being so damn hard on yourself. In general, life starts to feel a little calmer.

03 You’re like a broken record. You only correct yourself when you’re broke. When I first started experimenting with mindfulness/meditation, I only practiced when I was stressed. It took a while to realize that I could incorporate mindfulness on a regular basis and prevent moments of anxiety + tension. The more you practice paying attention to the present moment when you’re calm + happy, the easier (& WAY MORE EFFECTIVE) your mindfulness practice will be when you’re having a bitch fit. 🤷🏼‍♀️👸🏼

04 You think it’s a much bigger deal than it is. Meditation / mindfulness is not only what you see in the movies. Yes, meditation can strengthen our mindfulness power but it’s not about getting up at sunrise and chanting for an hour.

When you practice mindfulness, you will start noticing a wandering mind in the shower, during your mid-morning snack or on your drive to work. Next time your mind is wandering take a deep breath and focus on your breathing for a minute or 2. Do this in your car, while you’re getting ready for work or at your desk. And as I always say, no matter how impulsive, spacey or reactive you have been, you can always begin again. You live, you learn and then you do better. Being mindful is not about being perfect; it’s about being present.

So! Are you still feeling like you don’t have enough time to be mindful? Still feeling like you’re too scattered and distracted? Remember, those are just thoughts! You can choose to take them seriously and make them your reality or notice those pesky little thoughts, get a little curious about them and then let them go in favor of more beneficial ideas. 

 

Stay rad + kind,

Merrissa